Whether the problems are political, business, social or environmental, and whether they are personal, local or global, the one thing that they have in common is people with a purpose interacting with other people with a different purpose. While the source of the problem may be rooted in personality, culture, history, or any number of other sources, one thing is for sure, there are people involved. And when there are people involved, there’s a flow of opinions, emotions and attitudes that are involved in any given moment.

Having a working knowledge of what motivates, or triggers, behavior is the key to creating solutions to most problems, most of the time. This is the basic principal of communication, or so called soft, skills.

Perhaps it would be best to scale this down to a relatable case study, focusing on a problem that has a direct affected in someone’s personal life.

Here’s a practical example. Two people are in a relationship in which one has, over time, assumed a lead role and the other has been accommodating. And let’s assume there is some smoldering tension over these roles and that one party is more aware of the tension than the other party is. Most of the time this relationship appears to be working fairly well, but an important decision comes up. The person with the leadership role is accustomed to not being challenged. The person with the accommodating role has a stronger than usual position on the decision that has come up. This creates a disruption to the normal dynamic of the relationship, tensions rise (perhaps demonstrated by tone, volume, body language) and observable behaviour creates perceptions. Of course those perceptions are likely skewed from the norm and lead to reactions that are also skewed from the norm and now the situation is in escalation mode.

The above example presents a better understanding of the nature of problems. Triggers, perceptions and reactions create escalations. Again, this is very often not even intentional. It is situational, and it is resolvable. So now we move to the nature of solutions.

The solution to most problems starts with a rational look at what is being perceived. Then take a careful look at what core need is being impacted. For example, it may be ego or feeling appreciated. This allows people to be aware of what they are really reacting to, a perceived threat or offence. Perception is a very important word. Perception can activate ego, conditioned responses, beliefs, memories and other things that may not even apply to the current moment. Identifying the perception is what enables the power of choice. A person who is aware of their perception and what it is triggering is in a position to choose their reaction. Escalate, deescalate, or perhaps the best choice is to pause and offer a pause to the other person involved also. Because when escalation is occurring, there is almost certainly a reduction in rational thinking for everyone involved.

While this is a description of a personal problem, similar dynamics are involved at all scales, from pairs, to groups, to populations. The solution to most problems is learning about applied behavioural science and practicing self management. Otherwise known as communication, or so called soft, skills. That does not mean manage self into a state of complacency. It means managing self into a state of choice. Both escalation and de-escalation are valid options, depending on the situation and based on a choice that is motivated by rational thinking rather than a triggered response.

What creates the potential for a solution to most problems is awareness and self management enhanced by communication skills. If that sounds simple, it is. It’s the details in the current moment that create complexity. And that is why, like managing all complex systems, skills training and practice are essential.

If you liked this blog please link to our social media pages to hit the like and follow buttons for more interesting and insightful looks into what it takes to build your results oriented communication culture. Your action helps a lot and is very much appreciated. Thank you.

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Let’s look at it this way. A problem is a root cause. A symptom is a result of, or a reaction to, something. A physical example could be a broken arm. The fall that caused the broken arm is the problem. The broken arm itself is a symptom, or result of, the problem. Now, how does that example relate to people interacting with each other, either one-on-one or in groups? A business, group or personal equivalent example could be someone who is bad tempered or inconsiderate. That would be the problem. The reaction to, or symptom of, that problem would be others being less willing to try to please or engage with that person. Further, people will be less willing to engage with others that are showing support for that person. Note that where problem people are involved, anything less than trying to address the problem will be seen as de facto supportive of the problem. While that may seem unfair, relative to someone’s actual motivation, it’s what others perceive to be the motivation for the action or lack of action that they will be responding to.

In business this action or lack of action is seen as leadership. In social groups, this is seen as who is the glue that holds the group together. Internally, this is represented by the act of managing our perceptions and responses. Our perceptions drive our responses. Our responses are projected in what we say, how we say it and the story our body language reveals. Everyone perceives and responds to all of these things. When people react, all of that and more is what they are reacting to.

For many, people’s reactions can seem complicated. But here’s the thing, what motivates reactions is really not that complex at all. The motivators are, for the most part, basic instinctive responses to our perceptions of things in our environment, sometimes internal and sometimes external. It may be helpful to think of these instinctive reactions as motivating thoughts. Motivating thoughts are at the root of most, if not all, human interaction complexity. This is because our instinctive responses filter up through our unique life experiences and we tend to justify them rather than question or consider them. In reality, it is how our brains are designed, to conserve energy. But, experientially, it is how we feel decisive, productive and powerful. The result is we respond without considering the context of what is behind our motivating thoughts and we find ourselves, all too often, in situations that are not in our own best interest or in the best interest of the group.

One of the keys to leadership, contributing to a group, as well as personal performance is the ability to manage what we are projecting. One step back from that is managing what we perceive. The next step back is identifying instinctive, biased, judgmental and conditioned reactions. You can’t manage what you don’t identify and understand.

This is why learning about the dynamics of human interaction, or communication culture, is so valuable. It is the knowledge of root cause. This knowledge empowers all other knowledge. It is fundamental, it is powerful, and that is what makes it so valuable.

If you enjoyed this blog please link to our social media pages to hit the like and follow buttons for more interesting and insightful looks into what it takes to build your results oriented communication culture. Your action helps a lot and is very much appreciated. Thank you.

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In reality, stress is just nature’s way of getting our attention.  It is part of our instinctive response to uncertainty or unwanted things in our environment. It may also be a reaction to being overwhelmed or over stimulated. And stress can be debilitating when not well managed.

On the flip side, stress is also what motivates us to action. Stress causes us to push ourselves to accomplish goals and overcome challenges.

Understanding the nature of stress and how it works in our brains and bodies is the key to having the power to manage it. This is what the Hot Button Workshop is designed to do, provide an understanding of stress in language that is easy to understand. The result is that we learn to use stress to our advantage instead of allowing it to limit our potential.

We invite you to look closer at what you can do about your stress.

www.jameslauber.com

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The original blog entry and Williams comment are below our response.

Here is our response to William;

Thank you for taking the time to comment William.

You are absolutely correct. People’s reactions can seem complicated.

But here’s the thing, what motivates these reactions are not complex at all. They are, for the most part, basic instinctive responses to our perceptions of things in our environment, sometimes internal and sometimes external. It may be helpful to think of these instinctive reactions as motivating thoughts.

Motivating thoughts are at the root of most, if not all, social complexity. This is because our instinctive responses filter up through our unique life experiences. While that complexity is certainly real, with easily learned tools and techniques we can diffuse escalations. And this is how we can help ourselves, together with others, arrive at much better outcomes.

Of course the details of how to apply this knowledge to your situation is as unique as you are. This is why we offer one-on-one learning combined with interactive experiential workshops. This is the best way to learn how to apply our results oriented techniques within the group you are interacting with.

We hope this has helped clarify what we mean by “Most problems are actually symptoms”.

Warm regards,

The GraftOn Team

You can see the original blog entry and William’s comment by following this link.

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As a heads up, he does use a few “colourful” words in this clip, however, I truly believe this message needs to be heard.

The post Culture = Momentum = Success appeared first on HOTBUTTON SOLUTION.

The deeper question quickly becomes; how do triggers (hot buttons) work? That question leads us down the rabbit hole to the root cause. Temper is a behavior. Behavior is triggered by a response to a perception. Perceptions are a result of beliefs and environmental conditioning. It is the same for judgments. These things are part of our survival strategies. That is the essence of what we all deal with every day. We apply survival strategies to things that appear in our environment. This is equally true for all people and understanding how to manage other peoples temper is a powerful skill. One of the complications is that our instinct driven survival strategies were designed long ago to react to risks in the natural world. Of course we do not live in the natural world anymore so our instinctive survival strategies need to be monitored and managed if they are to serve us. Most people run on a kind of auto pilot much of the time.

Here’s the good news. You can easily learn to manage your brain in a way that invites others to join you in a rational thinking state of mind. This has the affect of muting both your triggers and theirs. It’s surprisingly easy. You don’t need a deep understanding of the vast body of knowledge that explains how the instinctual and emotional brain affects the thinking brain. All you need are some basic skills and a little practice.

If you would like to know more, look through this blog, or give me a call. I would be happy to share the “next layer of the onion” with you. The incredible power to create better outcomes is right around the corner. I look forward to speaking with you.

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No matter how you slice it, we are here as a result of our ability to communicate. It is at the core of all human achievement. It is the most significant difference between us and every other living thing on the planet.

Collecting and sharing learning, then using that knowledge in the pursuit of common goals is the single most important reason we have been able to accomplish so much. And the quality of our teamwork is directly related to the quality of our results.

Communication allows for culture. Culture defines both individual and team potential. Do you want to change your life? Manage your environment?  Influence your social or organizational culture? Then you need to learn more about how human communication works. It either builds or degrades unity as a result of how we apply it.

Building a healthy culture of skilled communicators is the best, arguably the only, way to create the kinds of changes that lead to sustainably better results. If you are not actively de-escalating tension you are either building tension or maintaining the status quo, both of which will not improve your results from what you are experiencing right now.

Our true origin story is bound to our ability to communicate. The question is not whether better communication is the key, but what source do you choose to help you gain and apply the knowledge as quickly and efficiently as possible.

mike dropped

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We all have hot buttons, or triggers.

They are natural responses to stress and conditioned responses to opposition.

Responding under the influence of a triggered hot button does not get good results.

You can easily learn techniques to manage your triggered hot button responses.

Hot Buttons are the root cause of most issues and a major success blocker.

Watch this short video to find out more, you’ll be glad you did.

The time to start taking action is now.

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We live in strange times. Pandemic, systemic problems, the politics of fear, media digging in to propaganda positions, reducing everything to sound bites, and the list goes on.

In response to all of this, we are moving ever closer to a point where enough people are willing to take action so that the conditions for lasting and meaningful change are possible. What is needed now is a sustained message, combined with a push on all available levers of power.

Here’s why. What lies beneath the “tip of the iceberg” is an unavoidable problem. Big, complex systems are hard to change. It will take sustained motivation from the outside to drive top down support and sustained effort from the inside. That is the reality.

So what can, and should, you do?

Make your voice heard in a way that motivates decision makers. Do more than want change. Do more than demonstrate for change. Use the levers of power you have access to and motivate leaders to create change. Vote for change.

Shouting and demonstrating is a great start because it gets the ball rolling, but being vocal can only do so much. Voting, at all levels, while not very fun or exciting, is needed to create the conditions, the appetite, for real change.

I invite you to share this with your circle.

Warm regards,
James

The post An Editorial On Social Change appeared first on HOTBUTTON SOLUTION.

Executives and managers recognize the importance of team collaboration to fuel success in business. They also have experienced how difficult it is to achieve. Think of your own work environment. Are you focused on meeting your goals and earning recognition from within your reporting structure? Are you focused on helping your peers meet their goals? Are you focused on your organizations customer experience? What does the messaging from your leadership tell you is in your best interest?

Most people, understandably, are focused on the impressions they make within their reporting structure. That is what directly impacts them in most organizations most of the time. And that is a central cause of many problems.

Here is the important question for everyone to ask themselves. What actions are seen by your customers as being most beneficial to them? The answer will show little or no concern for the recognition you get within your organization. Your customers focus is on what gives them the best experience.

Providing the best experience for you customers requires the right responses from everyone who interacts with them. To make this happen your people will need to have good peer to peer working relationships which will often need to be across silos.

This leads us back to the Harvard Business Review article mentioned above.

We invite you to read the full article along with all of its references by following this link:

https://hbr.org/2019/05/cross-silo-leadership?utm_source=linkedin&utm_campaign=hbr&utm_medium=social

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